{"id":119153,"date":"2021-08-04T16:31:33","date_gmt":"2021-08-04T20:31:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/?p=119153"},"modified":"2025-03-31T17:40:57","modified_gmt":"2025-03-31T21:40:57","slug":"001-alyssa-ilan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/001-alyssa-ilan\/","title":{"rendered":"Episode 1: \u201cMy husband doesn\u2019t trust me to run our business\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe style=\"border-radius: 12px;\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/7rheMWDq7kkwJ2uRHvGsgU?utm_source=generator\" width=\"100%\" height=\"352\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p aria-level=\"4\">Alyssa and Ilan have been in a relationship since 2007 and, for the most part, they\u2019re now happily married.<\/p>\n<p aria-level=\"4\">When the coronavirus pandemic hit, they both lost their jobs, but were quick to jump into new ways of making a living. Alyssa tried her hand at babysitting, while Ilan took a nightmare job for a roofing company. Alyssa started selling baked goods on Facebook and the demand for her work took them both by surprise.<\/p>\n<p aria-level=\"4\">A self-proclaimed \u201cnatural born entrepreneur,\u201d Ilan grabbed the opportunity by its horns and set about using the business framework Alyssa had started to sell his famous baklava, made using a prized family recipe. The two of them worked together to launch the company which is now so successful that it pays both of their income.<\/p>\n<p aria-level=\"4\">In theory, Alyssa runs their business day to day, overseeing the baklava production and manning their stalls at five farmers\u2019 markets a week \u2013 or at least she\u2019d like to. Every time a company decision has to be made, Ilan puts his foot down and prevents Alyssa from making it. They can\u2019t agree on the boxes they sell the baklava in, and most importantly now that the company is expanding beyond Alyssa\u2019s capacity to create baklava alone, they can\u2019t agree on hiring staff to assist Alyssa with production.<\/p>\n<p aria-level=\"4\">And that\u2019s not all! Ilan sees himself as a bigger picture guy, but he\u2019s still supposed to man one of those five weekly stalls. However, thanks to a newfound obsession with crypto, he never turned up to the last one. He may have seen more opportunity in the digital market than at the farmers\u2019 market, but it means that Alyssa can\u2019t even rely on him to help out with the small stuff any more.<\/p>\n<p aria-level=\"4\">Either Ilan has to let Alyssa take more responsibility for the business or he has to remain more involved, himself. On paper, it may seem like they\u2019re trying to overcome a money problem, but I Will Teach You to Be Rich goes deeper than that and this episode is all about communication. It\u2019s the bedrock of any good relationship, professional or romantic (in this case, both).<\/p>\n<p aria-level=\"4\">Our communication is something we can all always improve upon, so there are countless insights and takeaways to glean here. No matter how well you think you know your other half, hearing Alyssa and Ilan\u2019s breakthroughs might lead you to some of your own.<\/p>\n<h2 aria-level=\"2\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Tools mentioned in this episode<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;134245418&quot;:true,&quot;134245529&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:0,&quot;335559737&quot;:450,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:768}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/l-money-made-easy\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Money Made Easy Mini Course<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/landing-conscious-spending\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Conscious Spending Plan<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Transcript<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Transcript-_ver2_-IWT-1.-Alyssa-and-Ilan.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Download PDF of the transcript here.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:00:03] I tell her, \u201cYou know what, why don\u2019t you put yourself in my shoes?\u201d Sometimes, I understand it was too big for her.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:00:10] That it\u2019s too?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:00:11] The shoes are too big for her.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:00:15] On today\u2019s episode, I\u2019m going to be working with Alyssa and Ilan about a money problem that they have. But as I get deeper into the discussion with them, I realize it\u2019s not really about money, it\u2019s the communication between the two of them that is the real problem. Imagine your husband talking about you like this.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:00:38] Alyssa\u2019s nature is inside the box, and my nature is to think outside the box.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:00:48] Are you kidding me? Who talks about their wife like that, especially when you and your wife are supposed to be running a business together?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:00:56] I\u2019m an entrepreneur. She\u2019s not an entrepreneur. She is an employee.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:01:02] This is the I Will Teach You To Be Rich podcast. And I\u2019m your host, Ramit Sethi. Now, I\u2019ve always been fascinated with money and psychology. I remember writing about money while I was a student at Stanford, studying technology and psychology there, and absolutely loving talking to my friends about money. So many of us claim that certain things are important to us, and yet our behavior doesn\u2019t actually match up to it.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Think about it. There\u2019s money. Yeah, I know, I should save more. There\u2019s flossing. Yeah, I know I should floss more. There\u2019s calling our parents or going to the gym. There\u2019s so many things in our lives that are genuinely important to us; and yet, we find it really difficult to do.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">And I know what it\u2019s like. Growing up, I would joke that I was just a skinny Indian guy. I would look around and I would see a bunch of people who looked really fit. They seemed to stay fit and put on muscle effortlessly; and I just felt like I was on the outside. Like everybody had read a book about getting fit, and I was absent that day at school. And it took me many years, lots of getting help, and hiring trainers, and reading books to finally figure out what other people seem to effortlessly know. And I think a lot of us feel like that about money, like we were absent the day that everyone else seemed to learn it. So, I\u2019m fascinated with money psychology, and I\u2019m also fascinated with how it plays out in relationships.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Part of this is inspired by my own relationship. When I was dating my now wife and we got married, we went through a lot of difficult conversations to be able to get on the same page about money. And so, I started talking to other couples. I talked to friends, I talked to readers, and you will not believe some of the stories that I heard. We have couples that have vastly different spending styles \u2013 couples where one person earns a hundred times what the other does, and in almost every couple, they grew up with totally different philosophies on money.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">And I thought to myself, when was the last time any of us had the chance to listen to a real couple sharing real stories about their money problems and a conversation where they actually shared real numbers also? And the answer is never. Most of us have these conversations \u2013 sometimes, fights with our partner \u2013 but we never get the chance to sit in a room like a fly on the wall and listen to other couples talk about their money problems. Well, that\u2019s what I wanted to bring you on this podcast in the hopes that it can inspire you and maybe help you with your money psychology as well.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa and Ilan are like so many of the couples that I\u2019ll speak to on this podcast. They come to me for a very specific money problem, usually a really specific type of fight that they\u2019ve been having constantly. But as I ask them questions and unpeel the layers of their relationship, together, we\u2019ll discover that it\u2019s really not about the financial question they originally came with. There\u2019s almost always much deeper issues.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Now, Alyssa and Ilan have been in a relationship since 2007. They\u2019re now married, and they\u2019re co-founders of a baklava company. The business is doing well, really well, except for one thing, they just can\u2019t seem to agree on almost anything. Now, that\u2019s where I come in. I\u2019ve got a couple of ideas, but first, I need to ask them some questions to figure out what\u2019s really going on.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:04:52] It wasn\u2019t really a discussion, it was just like, he\u2019s going to do it, but I also don\u2019t feel comfortable with you just doing whatever you want with it since we\u2019re in a relationship together and our finances are shared. I was scared. I got in a fearful mindset. I was afraid he would lose our money, make mistakes with the money, even though all he wants is to make as much money as possible.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:05:22] You\u2019re listening to I Will Teach You To Be Rich.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa and Ilan are struggling to see eye to eye. They both lost their jobs as a result of the pandemic.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:05:42] Luckily, we both are entrepreneurial. And I started babysitting; Ilan tried a horrible job roofing. We don\u2019t speak about that. I mean, we weren\u2019t going to think. So, I started selling basic goods on Facebook, and Ilan saw that I was getting really busy, and he said, \u201cThere could be a business opportunity on this. Let\u2019s make my famous baklava,\u201d and the sales exploded.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:06:14] A lot of us believe that one magical day, when we have a million dollars or a successful business, all of our financial problems will vanish. Guess what? That never, ever happens. In fact, if you want a million dollars tomorrow, would you know exactly how to spend it? Would you know how to change your money attitudes? Would they just magically transform overnight? Of course not. These are skills that we learn over time. Now, Alyssa and Ilan are quickly realizing that they don\u2019t have those skills. And with this new business, it\u2019s starting to cause serious issues.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:06:54] I\u2019m doing the baklava now. He was still helping, but I was getting \u2014 I had way too much on my shoulder. I couldn\u2019t manage it. We bake it, and then I go to the farmer\u2019s market, I set up a canopy, we call over every single person, we offer them sample, it\u2019s super interactive and tiring way of working. Then, you tear it down at the end of the day and do it all over again. So, I felt like I couldn\u2019t handle this level of work and I also was having a hard time that he was putting so much time into the crypto.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:07:35] Wait a second. What\u2019s this about crypto?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:07:39] He said, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this cryptocurrency thing.\u201d And it wasn\u2019t really a discussion. It was just like he is going to do it, but I also don\u2019t feel comfortable with you just doing whatever you want with it since we\u2019re in a relationship together and, financially, our finances are shared. I was scared. I got in a fearful mindset. I was afraid he would lose our money, make mistakes with the money, even though all he wants is to make as much money as possible.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:08:15] Okay. Did you catch all those red flags? No discussion, don\u2019t feel comfortable, scared he would lose our money. These are all clues I\u2019m listening to, I\u2019m hearing them, and I\u2019m filing them away, because I suspect these are clues that give us a hint as to what\u2019s really going on. Alright. Let\u2019s keep going.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:08:41] There were times when he was supposed to do a market, and some exciting thing happened on the crypto, he saw an opportunity to make a bunch of money and he just didn\u2019t go to the market. And for me, because the markets are so important to me because it\u2019s a new business that I really care about, I just felt like, how can I rely on him? He\u2019s just doing the crypto. He doesn\u2019t care about\u2014<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:09:11] I thought-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:09:11] This is my \u2014 this is my experience. I felt let down. Ilan\u2019s top priority is making money. End of story. If he sees something that can make more money, he\u2019s going to go for it. So, we don\u2019t see eye to eye because I see the baklava business as a little baby that we\u2019re growing, and I care about it, and I care about our image and our reputation, and about fulfilling our commitments.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:09:42] Okay. On a scale of one to 10, how sure are you that that\u2019s exactly what he\u2019s going to say?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:09:48] Nine.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:09:50] What surprised you about what Alyssa just said?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:09:53] Nothing much. I know her reaction, I know how she is. She thinks in a certain way, okay? And Alyssa\u2019s nature is, let\u2019s say, inside the box, and my nature is to think outside the box. So, when you think outside the box, you find definition for inside the box. That\u2019s my life experience.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:10:19] Okay. This is red flag central. My alarm bells are ringing. I mean, can you believe Ilan is talking to me about his wife as if she isn\u2019t even there? Now, what I wanted to do was to get back on track and talk about their business.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:10:36] The startup was the idea of how to create a product that we don\u2019t have to basically work for so many hours, so I came up with a solution of how to sell a good product that has a nice markup. And then, basically, we don\u2019t have to work as hard. So, once we did that and we stabilized it together, by the way, the difference between us is that I\u2019m an entrepreneur from a very young age, and most of her life, she\u2019s not an entrepreneur, she is an employee.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">So, I know more how to think as an entrepreneur, and how to grow a business, and how to invest. And again, one investment is going to another one. And I\u2019m not afraid to do that because my life experience taught me that when you make a mistake, a good mistake because you learn from it, and then you learn basically how to make a profit, how to not make that mistake. Same goes with profits. So, you\u2019re not going to make or you\u2019re going to lose at the beginning, but it\u2019s going to teach you in the future how to not make that mistake again, and then make a profit.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:12:02] Let me just jump in here for a second and remind you who Ilan is lecturing. I\u2019ve started multiple businesses. I\u2019ve employed lots and lots of people. I run a business that reaches over a million readers a month. I mean, I appreciate the business lecture, but I didn\u2019t really come here to be lectured to by Ilan. And if he\u2019s being like this with me, I hate to think what he does when he\u2019s communicating with Alyssa.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:12:33] For her to understand it, it was very hard, and we had a lot of collision and a lot of fights over that. So, my motto is basically to dare and to endure. Basically dare and you conquer, because if you don\u2019t dare and you stay basically in that safe place, you\u2019re not going to get anything.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:12:58] I have a real problem in my life. It\u2019s called Indian auntie face. Now, if you\u2019ve ever talked to an Indian auntie, and you\u2019ve said something that she doesn\u2019t like \u2013 for example, that you love to drink or you don\u2019t care if you get a C-minus in school \u2013 she will be physically unable to contain the look of judgment and disgust on her face. Unfortunately, I have this problem too. So, right now, as I\u2019m being lectured to by Ilan about dreaming to dare, my face looks like I just ate a combination of three onions and a glass of lemon juice. I really need to change this subject right now.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">How big of an issue do you think that this, what we are talking about, is on a scale of one to 10?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:13:45] Oh, wow, this, I would say even eight to nine. Sometimes, even 10.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:13:52] Wow, okay. Alyssa, what about you? One to 10?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:13:54] An eight.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:13:55] Wow.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:13:55] I\u2019m pretty sure that it is, yeah.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:13:57] Wow. Okay. So, you\u2019re both pretty aligned that this is a real and serious issue.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:14:01] Mm-hmm.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:14:02] Yeah, but the thing is when she asked me to see eye to eye, I find the way to be. But when I tell her, \u201cYou know what, why don\u2019t you put yourself in my shoes?\u201d sometimes, I understand it is too big for her.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:14:16] That it\u2019s too?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:14:18] The shoes are too big for her.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:14:22] This was honestly really hard to listen to. It was hard for me, and I\u2019m new to this relationship. I can only imagine how difficult it is for Alyssa to have to listen to these kinds of comments. It\u2019s clear that there\u2019s not a mutual respect in this relationship for each other.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">So, let\u2019s recap. Alyssa believes that the problem is really about Ilan being reckless and inconsiderate. Ilan believes this is about Alyssa not being cut out for entrepreneurship. I think it\u2019s deeper than that. What do you think is going on? I have a suspicion. Let\u2019s listen a little bit more to see if I\u2019m right.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">So, Ilan, what about the fact that you were going to go to show up and sell the baklava, and then you decided not to go to that market?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:15:25] Okay. So, the thing is that the market with the crypto was very busy and I saw an opportunity.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:15:34] And what do you think Alyssa was thinking when she expected you to go there and you didn\u2019t?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:15:41] Well, she was extremely disappointed.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:15:44] Why?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:15:46] Because she\u2019s thinking that I\u2019m neglecting the business, but the way that I see it is to create a cash flow. So, I know that if I\u2019m going to lose a day of work over here, and I can do a triple or four times the amount of working in my computer, then I\u2019d rather work in my computer because, eventually, we have a common goal. When I have a vision \u2013 and sometimes, it\u2019s a big vision \u2013 I know it makes her scared. She gets afraid.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:16:17] Yeah, it makes me nervous.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:16:20] Tell me more.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:16:22] Well, I never imagined having such a big life. I grew up in a family that had enough money to travel two weeks a year, and I went to college, and I always had everything I needed. And so, I never thought that I need more. And Ilan grew up in a poor home and really suffered, and he doesn\u2019t ever want his kids to live like he did. And he has a big personality and big dreams, and that\u2019s okay. And I\u2019m getting more-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:05] Just stick on yourself. I want to know more about you.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:08] Okay. Okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:08] One thing I noticed is that you both love to talk about what the other person does, or thinks, or wants, and you actually don\u2019t talk about yourself at all. Have you noticed that?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:17] Yeah. Now that you mentioned it, yeah.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:19] Yeah. And I would say that maybe 80% of the time, you\u2019re right, but 20% of the time, you\u2019re way off, and both of you believe that you know the other person better than you actually do.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:33] Right.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:34] Okay. So, stay on yourself.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:37] Okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:37] You grew up, you had a fine life.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:39] Yeah.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:39] \u00a0You never imagined that you would, what?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:17:42] I never imagined having an extravagant life. Like I always imagined just having basic stuff. And for me, basic means a decent home and a decent car, like a 1500 square-foot house. It\u2019s just not until recently that I started thinking, \u201cOh, you know, it would be nice to have more and it would be nice to not work as hard,\u201d because I\u2019m working, I\u2019m giving like everything I have right now.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:18:13] What happened to make you start to slightly change your thinking?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:18:19] Well, it was a combination of Ilan, and not to stroke your ego, but I read all your stuff and taking your course on wealth triggers, which is like blowing my mind. Sometimes, when you hear something from your partner, it\u2019s harder to receive it. But when you hear it from your partner plus someone else who knows what they\u2019re talking about, you start thinking, maybe I can want that.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">I think I would never feel comfortable to want in my life if we\u2019re getting authentic here. I grew up with an alcoholic father who kind of his needs were always the most important needs of the family, and we had to kind of work around what he wanted. And he\u2019s always been in recovery, but this doesn\u2019t change what happens in the mind.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:19:15] Yes. Now, we\u2019re really getting somewhere. First of all, I want to acknowledge how much courage it took for Alyssa to share that personal information with us. And I feel really honored that she felt safe and she felt comfortable enough to share that right here.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">I also want to point out that it\u2019s okay to want more. Yes, you have my permission. Wanting a life of more is one of the classic tenets of I Will Teach You To Be Rich. So, I\u2019m thrilled to hear that Alyssa has realized she wants more. But even though we just made that big realization, there\u2019s still more to unpack here. We\u2019re talking about rewriting years and years of conditioning, conditioning that told Alyssa that she should just be happy with what she\u2019s got. You can\u2019t change that mindset overnight just by flipping a switch.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:20:10] I grew up accepting what came to me. I think that\u2019s where it really comes down to. So, it wasn\u2019t until recently that I said, \u201cYou know what, I\u2019m allowed to want,\u201d but then that\u2019s another step to be like, \u201cHow do I want?\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:20:29] We\u2019re starting to really understand Alyssa on a much deeper level. I was curious what Ilan thought of hearing this.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan, have you ever heard Alyssa talk about this?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:20:47] No. Refreshing, because I know every time, when you are afraid of doing something, getting out of your comfort zone, it comes from something in the past, something that you experienced before.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:21:02] Okay. But tell me about how you feel hearing this, not how other people feel. Tell me about how you feel hearing your wife just share things she\u2019s never shared before.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:21:15] That made me feel really, really good.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:21:18] Oh, well, I\u2019m happy.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:21:19] Yeah.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:21:21] I don\u2019t understand why it makes you feel good, though.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:21:24] Because right now, finally, we understood where it\u2019s coming from.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:21:32] Honestly, that\u2019s amazing to watch this happen. I can tell that the both of you love each other, you know. There\u2019s a lot of respect in the way that even your body language is, and you\u2019re both game to come here and speak to each other in a way that I can tell you haven\u2019t before. Alyssa, there are so many things that you just shared with both of us that are crying out to be explored. But Ilan, if you\u2019re hearing these things from your wife, are there any things that make you curious or surprised?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:22:10] I would like to know, what are you so afraid of? Where is this fear coming from? Because everything that I endured in my life, it was because of fear, and fear is not something \u2014 you are born with only two fears, fear of falling and a fear of sudden sound.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:22:37] Alright, guys. This is where I did something that I wish I hadn\u2019t. I got so irritated with yet another one of Ilan\u2019s lectures, especially after Alyssa was so open and honest with both of us, that I got so irritated, I just cut him off. And I wish I hadn\u2019t done this. I don\u2019t think it was professional. But I wanted to keep it in the episode, so you know exactly what happened.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:05] Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:07] Just a second.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:08] So, are you supposed to-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:08] Are you heading to this question or are you-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:10] No, no, no, no. You were supposed to ask her about how she was incredibly open, and within five seconds, you turned it into a lecture about the fears that a baby is born with. Now, Ilan, it\u2019s funny, but do you see-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:26] Okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:26] \u2026 why maybe she finds it difficult to be open, because the minute that she is, what does she typically receive from you? A lecture.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:37] Yeah.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:38] Try it again. And this time, get curious about your own life partner who just revealed something you\u2019ve never heard, do you maybe want to dig in and ask her a question?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:23:53] What would you like me to do better, so you won\u2019t be so afraid of my goals?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:05] What do I want you to do? What do I need from you, so that I can allow you to reach your goals? Is that the question?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:15] Yeah, yeah. How can I make it more convenient for you, more comfortable, you will be more at ease?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:25] With your goals?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:29] Yes.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:29] I asked Ilan to ask a question. Ilan\u2019s question is, how can I help you achieve my goals better?\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:35] I know.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:36] Why are you talking about your own goals?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:39] I know.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:41] And then, Alyssa, you accepted his question. You were about to indulge his fantasy about his goals. We\u2019re talking about your alcoholic dad; and now, it\u2019s his goals. Where did this come from?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:24:52] You\u2019re right. I was thinking about my goals. I\u2019m so spoken about my goals. Sometimes, I\u2019m blinded about other person\u2019s needs.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:25:09] Now, remember that Ilan and Alyssa originally came to me wanting business advice about baklava, but we\u2019ve discovered that the real issue is so much deeper. Think about your own life. Do you have a certain thing that you and your partner constantly disagree about, maybe even fight about? It might be who loads the dishwasher or one of you spends too much on clothes. But if you go five levels deeper, if you really treat it like a scientist, like an investigator, trying to find out what\u2019s going on, what do you think the real issue is? Well, the problem here is simple, communication, but Ilan won\u2019t listen to Alyssa long enough to learn what\u2019s really going on.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa, Ilan is having a tough time asking a curiosity-based question. So, as his partner, help him out. What question do you think he might ask that would allow you to open up a little bit more and to talk more about the stuff you just shared?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:26:18] How can I support you on that journey?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:26:25] So, I will ask you more often, what can I do for you? And-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:26:31] Well, you can ask me now.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:26:35] What can I do to make you more curious or make you more enthusiastic about the goals that I\u2019m thinking? Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:26:48] Oh, my God, Ramit.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:26:49] There\u2019s probably a language barrier.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:26:53] Ilan, it\u2019s \u2014 No, there\u2019s not. It\u2019s still about you.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:26:55] Okay. No.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:26:58] Ilan, your English is fantastic. The problem is not English.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:27:02] No, no.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:27:02] I would like you to ask me-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:27:04] Okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:27:06] \u2026 how can I support you in your journey on learning how to want?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:27:15] Oh, okay. So, how can I support you on your journey to how to want?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:27:21] Well, I can tell you how.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:27:26] Okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:27:26] I would like to have your support for me to make more decisions based around our baklava business, because I am not going to sabotage our business, I\u2019m going to make sure that we maintain a great profit and a great markup, but I have a lot of experience and I want a better future for us. And I know I trust my decision making in the business, but I need to have your support to let me explore what I can do with it because right now, I don\u2019t feel supported in making little changes, like branding the boxes, and making banners, and making decisions.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:28:26] Oh! So, finally, we\u2019ve got to something that we haven\u2019t argued about. I agree completely with what you said. Okay. I want you to dare more because owning the business, not only doing the same thing constantly all over and over again. It\u2019s not like being an employee. You always have to reinvent and use your imagination to make the business look better.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:28:58] No! Ilan, you had it. We just got to the point where you were actually able to ask Alyssa a real question about herself. That was fantastic. The two of you agreed that you both want Alyssa to have more control over the baklava business. Amazing. And then, you followed up with another Ilan Ted Talk.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:29:23] Okay. What is it that you want to do that you feel that I\u2019m depriving you of?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:29:32] I want you to trust me in making decisions with our business, because I make really good decisions.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:29:48] So, I trust you. Okay. You need to do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better. And when I will see the results that they are bearing fruit, I won\u2019t even make a comment. So, I would like you to do what you think that it\u2019s right.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:30:20] Did you understand the part where I explained my decision-making process?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:30:29] What do you mean, your decision-making process?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:30:31] Well, I make good decisions because of my education, and life experience, and my thoughtfulness to everybody\u2019s needs.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:30:47] Ilan, that was the first time today I\u2019ve heard you ask a legitimate question to her. You said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d You just said that, and I had a huge smile on my face as you said that, and you two actually connected.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:31:02] Right.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:31:02] You were legitimately curious, no, what do you mean, decision making process? That\u2019s a great question. And Alyssa, I could hear it in your voice. What did you feel when you heard that question from Ilan?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:31:16] I felt hopeful.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:31:18] And that, to me, was the best moment so far. And that was hard to get to. And honestly, it seems so simple, doesn\u2019t it that the fact that you said, what do you mean, decision making? Like what\u2019s the big deal? But that was, imagine you\u2019re climbing up a hill, you just made it to the first peak of the mountain.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Okay. So, this is fantastic, this agreement that they\u2019ve made is a major breakthrough. But right now, it\u2019s just words. What I want to do is practice something I call failure expectation. And this is basically expecting to fail, trying to break the agreement right now while we\u2019re in this safe space to predict what might go wrong, and practice so that we\u2019re prepared for what can happen in the future. I\u2019m going to try to run them through an actual disagreement they\u2019ve had and let\u2019s watch how they handle it.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">You can both be successful as business partners. You can. I believe that. I can see glimmers of it. But you can\u2019t do it the way you\u2019ve been doing it, because you look down on each other, you scoff at each other, you don\u2019t respect each other for the mutual skill set that you bring. So, you have a couple of options. One, you can stop partnering up in business. That is probably the cleanest and most obvious solution.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:32:54] That\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to achieve.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:32:56] Not partners?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:32:58] Yeah.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:32:59] Okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:33:01] Okay. We\u2019ll talk about that. So, go ahead. Tell him. It seems like that was a surprise to Ilan.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:33:06] No. Basically, what I thought is each one of us is going to have a part and is going to have to do a part. Okay. And that\u2019s what I said at the beginning. When she struggled with her part, then all things started to get complicated.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:33:27] Mm-hmm. And what about when you struggle with your part?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:33:31] I barely do. Rarely.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:33:33] You didn\u2019t show up to the market, that\u2019s struggling.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:33:36] No. Okay. My part of the business is the background part, purchasing and making mixes. I\u2019m helping as much as I can. But what I do also takes so much energy for me that managing both of the world, like sometimes, you can come to a point that you can just collapse of too much, okay?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:34:00] So, earlier, you said that there\u2019s crypto and there\u2019s baklava, and we each do our part in each. But the truth is, I have no part in the crypto, whatsoever.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:34:12] Okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:34:12] And it takes up almost all of your time, morning and night. That\u2019s when I proposed to hire someone to help in the kitchen, that it can relieve \u2014 it would be good for everybody to have someone help me in the kitchen because it\u2019s a weight off of your shoulders. So, by me wanting to take over the baklava because I want to practice developing something on my own, being more daring, trusting myself, and it also allows you to focus on what you want to do.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">I think our relationship would be healthier and our business would be healthier, but I would never say that that is not your business. We\u2019re in it together. We created it together. It\u2019s your business, but it\u2019s just, in my opinion, a better way to accomplish our goals and move forward in the future because right now, we\u2019re just bouncing things back and forth, and not going anywhere. That\u2019s not addressing what I want and need, which is, as we discussed, is a big issue. I need more help.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:35:36] Okay. So, this matter versus me, Ramit, I will now share it with you. So, when she came up with this idea, and I told her, no problem. But she wants to take a professional pastry chef, and I\u2019m not willing. But if you can bring someone who is not a professional chef to the kitchen and help you with the preparation, I don\u2019t have a problem with that.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:36:02] So, we-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:36:02] You will need \u2014 Wait a minute. It will be a cheaper manpower.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:36:04] I understand, Ilan, and we discussed that, and I agreed not to hire that particular person. However, I would like to hire someone else and pay them less than her professional fee.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:36:18] I did say okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:36:21] So, okay. So-\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:36:21] I don\u2019t have a problem with that.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:36:24] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. Ilan has already told Alyssa that this is fine? Now, up until now, he\u2019s been the main focus of my energy on this episode, but it sounds like maybe that hasn\u2019t been completely fair. You know, you\u2019ve heard that phrase, communication is a two-way street. And if Alyssa and Ilan are having this conversation over and over, and she\u2019s not acting on the outcome, then maybe it\u2019s no wonder he\u2019s becoming frustrated. Let\u2019s figure out what\u2019s going on here.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:36:55] Are you both in agreement on that?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:36:58] I always agreed. I don\u2019t know how, suddenly, it became a problem again.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:37:03] Ilan and Alyssa love to talk about each other as if they know exactly what the other person is thinking. And this is common in couples, especially long-term relationships. The problem is that it\u2019s clear that they often don\u2019t know what the other person is thinking. And that\u2019s when you get mistaken assumptions.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:37:23] Alyssa, is that your understanding that Ilan agreed to what you want to do with the chef?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:37:32] We did agree, and I was nervous that you would change your mind because we had a huge fight over it before. So, it\u2019s a sensitive topic, but am I understanding that I have your support?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:37:52] Okay. This is super interesting. Alyssa and Ilan solved the problem, and then Alyssa reset that problem back to square one. She got the go-ahead. She got an agreement with Ilan. And instead of pushing forward, she buried her head in the sand and pretended that it hadn\u2019t actually happened. So, we may have just uncovered a major cause of their problems. But I think the lecturing is still a bit of an issue here. Let\u2019s keep pushing forward.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:38:22] Another person, because I said it. I said, as long as that person is not a professional person, because first of all, he\u2019s going to ask to be paid over the top, more expensive than everybody else, double or triple per hour.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:38:40] Ilan, lock in the win. Lock in the win, my man. You\u2019re about to go into lecture land, which nobody wants to hear, including you.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:38:47] Okay, okay, okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:38:48] Say to her, Alyssa, I love you. Yes, we agree. I want to support you. Let\u2019s do it. Instead, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Why? What do you get out of it, Ilan?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:39:01] Oh my God.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:39:01] So, let\u2019s try that one part again. Go ahead.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:39:09] Whatever you need to do, just do it. Okay?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:39:14] So, you trust me to make decisions?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:39:19] Yes.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:39:20] Thank you.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:39:23] Love you.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:39:23] It feels good to be heard.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:39:27] This was a special moment. Sometimes, all we really need is to feel heard, for someone to listen to us. And so many of us go through life without anyone really, truly listening to us, without anyone asking us things like, \u201cWhat do you mean? Hey, can you tell me more about that? I\u2019d love to hear your thoughts on that.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">I remember having a customer service problem with this very large company, and I wasn\u2019t treated very well by one of the employees. And I was so frustrated that I emailed the CEO of the company, and I told him, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t want to leave a negative Yelp review for you, but as a business owner, I\u2019m guessing that you want to know how your employees are treating your prospects.\u201d He wrote me back in five minutes on email. He apologized to me. He offered to call me right away. We got on the phone. And he simply said, \u201cI\u2019m so sorry for your experience with my company. Can you tell me what happened?\u201d So, for the next 10 minutes, I vented to him and I told him what had happened. And at the end, he apologized, he listened and he told me he\u2019d look into it. And one final thing he said, \u201cIf you ever have the need for one of our products again, please email me directly.\u201d I felt so good. I just wanted to be listened to. And that\u2019s exactly what Alyssa is experiencing for maybe the first time in their relationship.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Now, I want to talk, Alyssa, because this isn\u2019t pick-on-Ilan day. There\u2019s a couple of things that I-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:01] Right.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:01] \u2026 I want to really focus. So, it seems like Ilan had initially agreed to this chef thing, but then as you pointed out, you got too nervous. And so, what did you do? It seems like you let it fester, started spinning, and then brought up the whole argument again. Is that accurate representation of what happened?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:25] Yes.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:27] And how do you think Ilan feels when you do that?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:30] Super frustrated.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:31] Why?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:34] Well, why do I need to keep repeating myself?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:37] And I imagine that must be a little frustrating for you, Ilan.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:43] Yes.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:43] Yes. Okay. So, Alyssa, what do you think you could do differently? If Ilan agrees, \u201cHey, get the less expensive chef,\u201d what should you do?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:57] Get the less expensive chef.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:41:59] Yeah, just go for it. He said, \u201cI agree,\u201d so done. In his mind, I think, he said, \u201cLook, we talked about this like two months ago, two weeks ago. Like go. Why are we talking about this again? We are stuck talking about this. Meanwhile, I want to be over here.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:42:16] Yeah.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:42:17] And so, when he says, \u201cBe bold,\u201d this is one example, right?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:42:23] Yeah.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:42:23] You made a decision. Let\u2019s not talk about it again. Let\u2019s go.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:42:27] So, I\u2019m aware. I\u2019m aware that I haven\u2019t acted on that despite coming to an agreement. It seems very strange to me and I think I\u2019m afraid that he\u2019ll change his mind. And then-<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:42:44] And if he changes his mind, what happens?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:42:46] Then, I have to battle my way back to it, try and win another argument, which takes so much energy.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:42:58] And then, what happens?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:43:00] It\u2019s just a really long process. I have to prove myself and, you know, really vouch for myself. And it\u2019s just really \u2014 the communication is hard.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:43:14] I think the key word there was afraid. This brings us full circle all the way back to the beginning of the episode. Do you remember what Alyssa said? She said, \u201cIt makes me feel nervous to imagine having such a big life.\u201d Alyssa\u2019s upbringing has made her so scared, so nervous to dream big, so uncomfortable around money that it\u2019s actively paralyzing her ability to run her business.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:43:45] I\u2019m really so grateful that you and Ramit are connecting because it helped me realize part of the reason why I haven\u2019t been acting because if I\u2019m like a little bird, and you\u2019re telling me how to fly, I\u2019m really a little freaked out. I\u2019ve got some great ideas, I see some places I really, really want to check out, but I can\u2019t jump out of the nest unless I know that you\u2019ve got my back.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:44:20] Now, if the two of them had been told at the beginning of this episode, we need to work on communication, they never would have listened. It\u2019s important to meet people where they are. They wanted to talk about baklava and finances, great. That\u2019s where we started. But ultimately, we will almost always peel those layers into something much, much deeper.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ilan:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:44:41] I realize that I hurt you by not supporting you, okay? I wanted to listen more to you.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:44:54] Did you catch that? Ilan says, he\u2019s realized he\u2019s hurt Alyssa by not supporting her, and he wants to listen more to what she wants.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alyssa:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:45:05] Thank you. That\u2019s all I ever wanted. I am willing to support you on your journey because I know you \u2014 now that we have a clear vision, I know that both of us will be considered in moving forward.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:45:29] Will this last? I don\u2019t know. Alyssa and Ilan have a lot of work to do, but they\u2019ve tasted what it feels like to be aligned. And they\u2019ve learned a few new skills today on how to talk to each other, how to ask curiosity-based questions. It\u2019s possible this is a flash in the pan, and they go right back to their old patterns tomorrow, but my hope is that it can be the start of a totally new way of relating to each other about money, and business, and their relationship overall.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">If you\u2019ve enjoyed this episode, please follow or subscribe to I Will Teach You To Be Rich on any podcast platform, and you\u2019ll get notified each time we drop a new episode. And if you\u2019ve really enjoyed what you\u2019ve heard so far, rate and review us too. I would love to have your rating. And we\u2019re just starting out, so those reviews and ratings will really help. Thank you. Here\u2019s what you\u2019ll find next week on the I Will Teach You To Be Rich podcast.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ashley:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:46:36] It\u2019s annoying. How much money do you make an hour? And how much time are you spending trying to save two dollars? It doesn\u2019t makes sense. It\u2019s annoying when we go out for dinner, you\u2019re like, \u201cI want this thing, but I\u2019m going to get this thing, because it\u2019s five dollars different.\u201d At a $150 bill, who cares? He\u2019s cheap. Why do you return all my gifts that I buy you? Because you don\u2019t want me to spend money.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Greg:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:46:58] I don\u2019t like the gifts.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:01] You two want to ask each other anything or share how you\u2019re feeling?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Greg:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:08] No.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:08] Would your family say that you are cheap?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ashley:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:14] Yes.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Greg:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:18] Yeah.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:18] What about friends?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ashley:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:19] Yes.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Greg:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:21] Stop. I don\u2019t think all of them.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ashley:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:23] Yeah.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ramit Sethi:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">[00:47:23] Do you want to know something? You\u2019re cheap. If your friends and family would say it, you are cheap.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:0,&quot;335551620&quot;:0,&quot;335557856&quot;:15003381,&quot;335559685&quot;:2010,&quot;335559737&quot;:2010,&quot;335559738&quot;:150,&quot;335559739&quot;:150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Alyssa and Ilan have been in a relationship since 2007 and, for the most part, they\u2019re now happily married. When the coronavirus pandemic hit, they both lost their jobs, but were quick to jump into new ways of making a living. Alyssa tried her hand at babysitting, while Ilan took a nightmare job for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_lmt_disableupdate":"no","_lmt_disable":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[290],"class_list":["post-119153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-podcast-episodes"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"modified_by":"Vika DD.NYC\u00ae","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=119153"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119153\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=119153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=119153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}