{"id":59361,"date":"2023-02-27T08:12:36","date_gmt":"2023-02-27T12:12:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/?p=59361"},"modified":"2025-04-03T22:28:48","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T02:28:48","slug":"how-to-talk-about-money-with-your-partner-what-not-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/how-to-talk-about-money-with-your-partner-what-not-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Talk About Money With Your Partner (+ What Not To Do)"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"59361\" class=\"elementor elementor-59361\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-32f33e79 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default qodef-elementor-content-no\" data-id=\"32f33e79\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7e5248de\" data-id=\"7e5248de\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4d5432a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4d5432a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Whether you\u2019re getting married, moving in together, or just getting serious about money, it\u2019s always a good time to start discussing finances with your significant other.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>But how do you talk to your partner about money?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>For many, this is scary or awkward, but don\u2019t worry.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>As the blog of one of the leading personal finance experts, we\u2019ve put together a guide with some word-for-word phrases to use, along with all the tips and information you need.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7ba32a01 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7ba32a01\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>In this article, we\u2019ll cover the following:<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:list --><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"#when-you-should-start-talking-to-your-partner-about-money\">When you should start talking to your partner about money<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#best-practices-for-talking-about-money-in-your-relationship\">Best practices for talking about money in your relationship<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#scripts-to-get-the-conversation-started\">Scripts to get the conversation started<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#important-talking-points\">Important talking points you should ALWAYS cover with a significant other<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#how-to-find-what-invisible-scripts-you-and-your-partner-have\">How to find what invisible scripts you and your partner have (&amp; what to do about them) (+ scripts&nbsp; to get the conversation started)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#what-you-should-NEVER-do\">What you should NEVER do when talking to your partner about money<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#FAQs\">Answers to the most frequently&nbsp;asked questions about discussing money in your relationship<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><!-- \/wp:list --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading --><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"when-you-should-start-talking-to-your-partner-about-money\">When should you talk about finances in a relationship?<\/h2>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-when-you-re-newly-dating\">When you\u2019re newly dating<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Money talk probably isn\u2019t a big feature of your conversations when you\u2019re newly dating, but it doesn\u2019t have to be that way. You can slip in some money and talk about things like who pays for dates, your salaries, and general conversation to get started.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>At this stage, you probably don\u2019t want to divulge major information about income, debts, and mortgages to your significant other. That might be coming off a bit too strong&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-when-you-re-making-a-big-life-decision-together\">When you\u2019re making a big life decision together&nbsp;<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>By this point, you\u2019ve been dating for a while and are now in a solid relationship. Money should be something you have serious conversations about.&nbsp;Now is not the time to gloss over it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re about to move in together, you need to discuss bills, rent, insurance, and how you will divide expenses.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Getting engaged is an exciting time, but it\u2019s also a time for some key money decisions. How will you get married? What will the budget look like? Are there any deal-breakers that you need to know about BEFORE you&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/money-and-marriage\/\">get married<\/a>? How will you divide assets in the event of a divorce? Not very romantic but still worth considering.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re having a baby, things to work out with your partner include parental leave, loss of income during that time, and all the money you need to spend on the little bundle of joy.&nbsp;Get those conversations done BEFORE any of these life-changing events. Future you will thank you for it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-after-you-re-married\">After you\u2019re married<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>By now, you should have had lots of money conversations. But surprisingly, many couples still don\u2019t discuss money much, even after&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/combining-finances-after-marriage\/\">they\u2019ve been married for ten years.&nbsp;<\/a><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>This is often because someone is just better with money and takes on that responsibility, or one person doesn\u2019t work so the breadwinner handles it all.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Whatever your living and money situation, you should make an effort to talk more openly about finances. It\u2019s never too late to start checking in with your partner so you stay on the same page.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Your goals and financial situation may change, so get into the habit of talking openly about money with your partner now. It\u2019ll make any potential changes a lot easier to handle.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Want to know how to discuss finances with your spouse? Prepare for the big money talk&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading --><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"best-practices-for-talking-about-money-in-your-relationship\">How to talk about money in a relationship for the first time<\/h2>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-how-to-prepare-for-your-first-money-talk\">How to prepare for your first money talk<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Talking about money with your partner might sound painful, but I promise you it doesn\u2019t have to be awkward. As corny as it sounds, it can actually bring you closer together.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>The secret to starting your first big money talk is to head in with the right attitude. One way to broach the subject is to ask for their advice or thoughts &#8230; even if you don\u2019t need it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"scripts-to-get-the-conversation-started\">Scripts for starting the money conversation<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re worried about bringing the topic up, start slow.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHey, I\u2019ve been trying to learn about money lately . . . What do you think about investing versus saving?\u201d&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>If you don\u2019t get an answer, try a more specific approach:<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cOkay, hey, I have another question . . . What do you think about my spending? Is there anything you think I should change?\u201d&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>I guarantee you they\u2019ll have an opinion on that \u2014 and although you\u2019re sacrificing yourself, at least it\u2019ll get the conversation started.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>After a few days, ask for their financial advice again:&nbsp;<em>\u201cWhat do you think \u2014 should I pay off my credit card or my student debt?\u201d&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Then, a few days later, tell them you\u2019ve been doing some more research.&nbsp;<em>\u201cI picked up a book on personal finance and it had some really interesting stuff in it. What do you think about talking about our money together?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>When you sit down to talk, once again start by asking your partner\u2019s opinions:&nbsp;<em>\u201cI know you use cash to pay for everything, but this guy says we should use credit cards to build our credit and track spending. What do you think?\u201d&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>The goal of these mini-meetings about money should be to agree that money is important to both of you and that you should work together. That\u2019s it!<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>If things go well, ask your partner if they would be willing to sit down again to go over both of your finances together.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:shortcode --><br><span style=\"font-family: 'PP Mori', 'PP Mori'; font-size: 40px; font-weight: 600; letter-spacing: 0px;\">Important money talking points for couples<\/span><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>When you head into your big money talk, here are a few things to consider and discuss:<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3>Should you tell your partner how much money you have?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s important to be open and truthful about money when talking with your partner. Hiding your money or being untruthful about it can be a source of conflict in your relationship and can be avoided by simply telling the truth. Money is a subject that is better to have an understanding of trust, especially in an intimate relationship.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Remember, it\u2019s good practice to start slow and be honest.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-how-much-money-do-you-both-make\">How much money do you both make?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>An easy starting point for any conversation about money should begin with your income. By knowing each other\u2019s income, you can decide how to use that money together. You could even chat about ways to boost your income, either by finding a new job or starting a side hustle.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-how-much-debt-do-you-have\">How much debt do you have?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Knowing how much debt you each have is another very important conversation to have \u2014 especially if you\u2019re getting married and want to&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/combining-finances-after-marriage\/\">join finances.<\/a><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>You want there to be zero surprises in store for either of you. If someone has eye-watering credit card debt, you need to know that now.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Other things to discuss include student loans, personal loans, car finance, and any mortgages either of you has. These will all affect your credit score, so you both need a full picture of each other\u2019s finances.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Give yourself an overview of all the debts you both have and write it all down to be clear. Try to write down the interest rates, monthly payments, and end dates.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>This can help you plan what to do next. Perhaps refinancing to a better rate is something you can do. Maybe you can use the snowball or avalanche method to clear off debt faster.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Some other great talking points include:<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:list --><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Are you comfortable taking on debt (like credit card debt)?<\/li>\n<li>How will you handle money as a couple?<\/li>\n<li>What are your shared expenses as a couple?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><!-- \/wp:list --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:block {\"ref\":38252} \/--><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8ded0d7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"8ded0d7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-xl\">The world wants you to be vanilla...<\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b824e33 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b824e33\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>\u2026but you don\u2019t have to take the same path as everyone else. How would it look if you designed a Rich Life on your own terms? Take our quiz and find out: <!-- notionvc: 5347849a-bd37-402a-a251-f51c54d7de89 --><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2171bec elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"2171bec\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-sm\" href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/rich-life-quiz\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">Take the Quiz<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-b812831 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default qodef-elementor-content-no\" data-id=\"b812831\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5dbe5ae\" data-id=\"5dbe5ae\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2552faa elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2552faa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h3 id=\"how-to-find-what-invisible-scripts-you-and-your-partner-have\">What invisible scripts do you have about money?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/the-invisible-scripts-that-guide-our-lives\/\">Invisible scripts<\/a>\u00a0are truths so profoundly embedded in our society that we don\u2019t even realize they\u2019re there. They influence our habits and behaviors without us even knowing.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>For example,\u00a0<em>\u201cI need to go to college to become successful.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>At some point in your life, invisible scripts like this have probably popped into your head. Personal finance ones could look like this:\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:list --><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>\u201cCredit card debt is evil.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>\u201cYou should buy the biggest house you can afford.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>\u201cBudgeting is about cutting back on stuff you love. So it\u2019s impossible!\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><!-- \/wp:list --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>These may not be the word-for-word scripts you have in your own head but take a moment to think about what yours are. These invisible scripts can influence us (either positively or negatively) so it\u2019s important to pay attention and challenge them.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re struggling to save because\u00a0<em>\u201cbudgeting is about cutting back on fun stuff,\u201d<\/em>\u00a0this is an invisible script that\u2019s holding you back. If you have a partner who\u2019s good at budgeting, this can cause a little rift between you.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>To get on the same page with your partner, don\u2019t overlook this step. Spend some time evaluating your unconscious thoughts about money. Discuss them, challenge them, and look at alternatives if they\u2019re holding you back.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-what-are-your-long-and-short-term-financial-goals\">What are your long- and short-term financial goals?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Talking about your money goals is a great way to frame the whole conversation with your partner. Not only do you need to know how to manage the day-to-day expenses, but you also want to plan ahead for the future.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Having some joint money goals in mind is only really achievable once you\u2019ve done the groundwork and spoken openly about money.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Money goals might include:<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:list --><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Saving for a down payment on a home<\/li>\n<li>Saving for a wedding<\/li>\n<li>Investing in the stock market<\/li>\n<li>Making home renovations<\/li>\n<li>Saving for a new car<\/li>\n<li>Planning a vacation<\/li>\n<li>Saving for an emergency fund<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><!-- \/wp:list --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Whatever it is, it all starts with an open conversation and a solid plan.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Knowing all your income and expenses then leaves you free to decide how much money to put away for your goals. It helps to have some solid figures in mind and a deadline so you can stay on track to achieve them.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:shortcode --><br \/><span style=\"font-family: 'PP Mori', 'PP Mori'; font-size: 40px; font-weight: 600; letter-spacing: 0px;\">What not to do when talking to your partner about money<\/span><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-don-t-make-it-feel-like-an-ambush\">Don\u2019t make it feel like an ambush<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Money is a sensitive topic. Not everyone likes to talk about it, so in some cases, it pays to be cautious here. You don\u2019t want anyone shutting down.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s why we suggest going easy in the beginning and broaching the topic with a few harmless questions.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>This lets you gauge how open the other person is to discussing finances. It saves them from being ambushed, which is never a good start to any conversation.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-don-t-impose-or-try-to-change-your-partner\">Don\u2019t impose or try to change your partner<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Where a lot of people go wrong is they try to \u201cfix\u201d their partner. Now, if they have a massive gambling problem and you\u2019re about to lose your home &#8230; perhaps it\u2019s time for an intervention.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>But generally speaking, we all have our different ways of doing things. Don\u2019t go in all guns blazing demanding that your partner changes their ways.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>The problem with that approach is that you\u2019re assuming your way is:<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:list {\"ordered\":true} --><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Right<\/li>\n<li>The only way<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><!-- \/wp:list --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Which may or may not be true. Instead, have some patience and discuss money habits on an equal level. If anyone needs to change or adapt their habits, do it together.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3 id=\"h-don-t-shame-or-blame-your-partner\">Don\u2019t shame or blame your partner<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t, whatever you do, make your first real conversation about money a negative one. If someone overspends or gets into debt, don\u2019t make your first talk about why they shouldn\u2019t have done that.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>It doesn\u2019t change anything and starts the conversation with tension and emotion when it should be open, friendly, and productive. This only works if you want both of you to succeed together.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Talking to your partner about money doesn\u2019t have to be scary or awkward. Plenty of people are open about discussing money and that\u2019s great. Not everyone is, so in those cases, smaller steps and mini conversations along the way are the perfect way to ease into it.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Improving your habits will help you manage your money AND your relationships. Check out Ramit&#8217;s new\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/guides\/ultimate-guide-to-habits\/\">Ultimate Guide to Habits.<\/a><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading --><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"FAQs\">FAQs About How To Talk About Money With Your Partner<\/h2>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3>How to tell your partner you have no money?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>When you need to tell your partner that you\u2019re low on funds, here\u2019s some things that can help. Don\u2019t be ashamed. Suggest a plan to follow. Focus on positive things.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3>How do I approach my partner about money?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>To start the money talk with your partner, it\u2019s best to take it slow. A good question to ask is, &#8220;how comfortable are you with money?&#8221; This can allow you to talk about your individual experiences with money and how you approach money in general. This can lead to heavier questions.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3>How do you address money issues in a relationship?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Some tips to remember when thinking about dating in terms of financial issues:<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:list --><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Be honest. Don\u2019t lie about how much you make<\/li>\n<li>Have a budget<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t date for money reasons<\/li>\n<li>Talk about how to pay for a date<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><!-- \/wp:list --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3>How do I talk to my husband about money without fighting?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>From a personal finance expert, here are some ways to approach talking to your partner about money:<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:list {\"ordered\":true} --><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Have a budget, ideally a monthly budget.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t try to control your partner.<\/li>\n<li>Have a third party or mediator.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t make ultimatums.<\/li>\n<li>Seek out help from a financial advisor.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><!-- \/wp:list --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3>How often should couples discuss finances?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Have a monthly conversation about finance.There are things you may need to plan for like vacations, bills, birthdays. Also keep track of the month ahead and guess what expenses you might face coming up. Some months might be different than others.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3>Does money matter in a relationship?<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Love, empathy, and attraction matter but they\u2019re not the whole picture. You should have goals you set together\u2014which include money. You don\u2019t have to factor in someone&#8217;s income either, although income compatibility is something to think about.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} --><\/p>\n<h3>How to tell your partner about debt<\/h3>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Have a plan. Reassure your partner that you are dealing with your debt. Tell them about your progress so far. Ask them if they are comfortable working with you or helping you.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-0ae06ab elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default qodef-elementor-content-no\" data-id=\"0ae06ab\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-ea1c6b3\" data-id=\"ea1c6b3\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7ffb303 elementor-widget elementor-widget-qi_addons_for_elementor_blockquote\" data-id=\"7ffb303\" 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getting serious about money, it\u2019s always a good time to start discussing finances with your significant other.\u00a0 But how do you talk to your partner about money?\u00a0 For many, this is scary or awkward, but don\u2019t worry. 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